Day 258

Day 17: Something you regret

Oh boy, there a few things I regret in my lifetime. Well I think regret might be too strong of a word. I don’t really regret anything, because I think EVERYTHING happens for a reason, but nonetheless, there are things I would have done differently. As I said I am going to try to relate these posts to Hadley, as this blog is supposed to be about her. It should be no surprise to anyone that my biggest regret is that Hadley will never have any recollection of her parents being in love, much less living in the same home. This saddens me a bit because even though my parents divorced when I was young, I still have a vague memory of my dad living with us, and there are pictures of the three of us a family. In Hadley’s case the only picture that we have, and most likely will ever have, of the three of us is in the operating room when she was born. I am sad that it is possible she will go to school and when other kids talk about their families or draw family pictures that it will just be she and I. I hope that in our future there is another marriage for me and more children. I hope that my future husband and I are able to model a healthy relationship for Hadley so that she will have a good idea of what a marriage SHOULD be. I do not regret that Hadley will not grow up in a house with fighting, with two people who may not be madly in love with each other. I do not regret that she will not have to deal with me being emotional all the time, because I am unhappy or stressed in my marriage. Hadley gets to be the center of my universe. She gets the best of me and that’s what’s best for her…so at the end of the day, I live a life with no regrets!