The start of 50 questions

Hadley didn’t sleep so great last night. She was out by 5:45 which was nice and slept until about 9, it started out so well. Then about 9:15ish through 11:30 she just was restless. Nothing made her happy- it was puzzling. Finally close to midnight she finally settled down and slept the remainder of the night. I don’t know why, but that two hour stretch really wore me out. I snoozed an extra 10 minutes today and had a really hard time getting up this morning. Hadley didn’t want to wake up either, she has been going through a clingy phase where she wants me to hold her a lot lately, and in the mornings when we are rushing to get out the door- it makes things a little hard, but we manage.

On a completely different note, Neely over at A Complete Waste of Make-Up (http://www.acompletewasteofmakeup.com), recently posted a list of 50 questions that would “free your mind.” I really liked the idea, so I thought I would try it out. However, I am going to space it out over several days (most likely 10- 5 questions per day). Here are the first five:

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? This is a tough one, if I based it on how I am often perceived to be I would say 18. I can’t tell you how many times during a given week one of my coworkers mistake me for a senior. Only once in my entire life have I not been carded. I often feel like an older soul, but not like an old lady, so like 35. My life is pretty settled. I have a great job, a baby and a pretty steady routine. It is what it is- bedtime at 9, sure I will take it!

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? My biggest fear in life if failure, but in my recent years, it has been clear that never trying is FAR worse than failing. I mean there are so many opportunities you might miss out on if you never try. So what if you fail, character is developed in those moments in which you decide how you are going to deal with that failure

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? This is easy, because we are creatures of habit. For example I know it isn’t good for me to drink a few dr. peppers a day and no water, but it’s just what I do- it takes too much work to change it. We are also afraid of the unknown, so it’s a lot safer to have a list of things you would love to do, but not actually take the next step to do them. In both instances it takes an individual making a conscious choice and following though, and for most of us it is that follow that usually leads us to drop the ball.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? That is a tough one too. I am pretty proud of the things I have done. I am a goal setter and not often do I set a goal and not set it. My career is evidence of this. There aren’t many people that get through college in three years and start teaching at 21. Furthermore, I am one of the youngest counselors I have come across, mostly because it requires two year of teaching, plus graduate school and most 20 somethings just don’t do things that quickly. I have lots of faults, but I do think that I stick to what I say I am going to do…does that even answer this question???


5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? I am not a person that is really in touch with current events. It is sad and awful and irresponsible- I know. I shouldn’t get my news from a radio personality (Kidd Kraddick- thanks for keeping me informed), but I do. That makes this question hard for me…let’s see I think I would change the way health care is administered in this country- I don’t know a whole lot about the details, but as a hardworking professional, I know that I pay a lot for insurance on top of a lot for care, and I am a professional, I can only imagine what type of medical jams the everyday working class citizen is in…

Hadley Grace is 13 months old!

Now that we have hit the year mark, each month milestone doesn’t seem as significant. I am pretty thankful that I don’t have to wrestle with Hadley and her monthly sticker that she for reason confuses for a delicious snack. However, for my own sake and to keep up the tradition, you know how we Aggies love the traditions; here are some highlights of the past month.
• Hadley slept through the night once, and for an 8 hour stretch a couple times (yay!)
• We have fully transitioned from formula to milk and only use a bottle at bed time
• She has reached the age where I can take her in a restaurant and order her something off the menu to eat- her personal favorites appear to be any kind of soup; which works for me because I am a HUGE fan of soup
• She has tried lots of new foods and hasn’t seemed to find anything she doesn’t like. She might have a slight aversion to spicy, a few times she has seemed bothered by spice, but other times not, and so if could just be a coincidence. I am hoping so, as I like spicy foods!
• Her hair is long and I am trying out pigtails for the time being- it is adorable, but her response to my attempt to do this every morning is not so cute- but I am not one to back down to a challenge, so every morning we have the same fight- eventually she will realize I am NOT trying to pull her hair out. We are two stubborn girls, I am having a power of the wills with my 13 month old- I can only imagine how this will go the next 18 years!
• She has learned to like water, she went from throwing a sippy cup full of water on the ground, to actually sucking it down
• She has gotten a third tooth with the fourth on the way- it really is taking its sweet time. This means fever and a cranky baby more often than I like.
• She is the caretaker of her class, she like to make sure everyone is okay all the time- this includes giving everyone a hug and a kiss
• She loves to blow kisses and does so to every single person she meets…
• She is a pointer, we are working on this- pointing isn’t always so nice
• We no longer are using the bath seat and it seems FINALLY she has grasped the concept of SITTING in the bath tub (as opposed to crawling, walking, etc).
• She still loves Yo, Gabba, Gabba and it sure does make our morning routine a lot easier
• She loves to play peek a boo, and if I ever say where is Hadley, she will cover her eyes and then “peek-a-boo” and giggle
• The loves patty cake and head, shoulders, knees, and toes- and can do hand motions to both
• She can make sounds like a duck, puppy, cow, and horse- sure they aren’t perfect, but you get the drift
• She has a recent interest in books; she pulls a book of her shelf, hands it to me, sits and my lap and actually will let me read the ENTIRE book. I am beyond EXCITED about this (the English teacher in me will never die!)

Overall, as I have said before she is just growing and changing every day. I recently created a photo book on Shutterfly documenting her first year. It is so funny to look at how much older and bigger she is than she was this day a year ago. Conversely it is pretty interesting to look at photos from her first week and to look at her now- when she is sleeping she looks the exact same way: beautiful, peaceful, and perfect!

Weekend wrap-up

My mom came into town this weekend, because with our schedules if as didn't come this weekend it would be nearly two months between visits, and Gigi can't stand not to see her precious grand baby that long, I guess she might have wanted to see me too...

We had a pretty good weekend. Friday night we just played with Hadley and I went to bed pretty early, because Hadley had me up at 5:20 that morning. Luckily Fridays are always slow in my office...or maybe not so lucky.

Anyway Saturday we got up and played around the house a while. Then we went to Black Eyed Pea for a little soup and salad combo. Hadley pretty much devoured all my broccoli cheese soup! We then stopped by Once Upon a Child to see if they had anything to get excited about- they didn't really. So we went on to the grocery store to get supplies for two new recipes I wanted to try: chicken spaghetti and a kale sausage strata for breakfast Sunday morning courtesy of the Pioneer Woman ( LOVE her). Both were really good.

Sunday we went to church. Well I went to the second week of the class I started last week, then worked parent pager. We left church, came home, and soon it was time for my mom to leave :(. Hadley and I played and read the rest of the afternoon. All of a sudden she is actually into books and will sit and let me read to her, it is VERY EXCITING!!

Tonight in her bath, she saw herself in the reflection on the drain thing on the side of the tub. She kept trying to kiss herself and wave- she is vain I tell you, but it was pretty cute!

The rest of the night was not so cute! Hadley recently has been showing cold like symptoms, mostly a runny nose. Tonight however it progressed into a full blown cough with phlegm! Well since this is not my first rodeo I started to dread what that meant. Typically when it comes to phlegm the only way it knows how to exit her body is via puke. So while I was rocking her to sleep all of a sudden my chest, hair and even my back were covered in cottage cheese and milk. This might be tmi, but it smelled just like feta cheese. If you know how much I love feta, this was probably the worst part, not sure I can consume one of my favorite foods any longer knowing it smells like Hadley vomit. The rest of the night was rocky, she kept crying in her sleep and was restless, I really wish her darn tooth would come in already!!! Saturday night was so awesome- she slept from 6:30-2:30( 8 hours!!!) was up for a second then slept till 7:30....so I can't complain too much!

Fresh start

I woke up today feeling like it was time for a fresh start. I don't know why, but I am ready to put the past behind me and move on. It's hard to believe that it's been almost an entire year since I've filled for divorce. This week I've really been pondering my future.

For as long as I can remember I consistently am attracted to jerks. What really gets me is it's almost always a noticeable cockiness that makes me interested. THIS NEVER ENDS WELL. It is time for me to get that through my stubborn little head. I can't fix or change another human being, nor should that be a reason for me to pursue a relationship. People don't change, and while people are skilled at hiding their true self, there are always sign or ways that they are clearly showing you who they are.

So what? Am I on some quest to find the much sought after Mr. Right? No, not even close. I feel fairly confident that I am not qualified to pick a match for myself. I am just going to be open to whatever comes my way. When I go out searching I can feel myself settling, and that my friends, will not happen again. So I feel good about where I am today. I am sufficiently over the drama and crap that transpired in my marriage and I am ready to have a new drama free, hopefully less stressful life- in whatever way is planned for me and Hadley.

With a clean slate, a clear head and heart- I am taking the first step towards a better, stronger, and of course happier Megan- starting now!

Rain, rain everywhere

It has been raining non-stopped since last night. It was nice when it started, it was great sleeping weather evidently for Hadley and I am we both fell asleep well before 9; this would prove to be a good thing!

At about 3 I woke up and shortly after so did Hadley, so we did the best thing one can do at 3 am, watched the episode of Teen Mom I missed while drinking a Dr. Pepper! Those teen moms, in lots of ways I relate to the single mom aspect, but sometimes they are just so frustrating. Janelle seriously is a crazy person. We didn't really go back to sleep so I decided to go on and shower at about 5:30. I had to be in Richardson at 9 for a graduation plan training, which meant I needed to lead a little early so I could get Hadley to daycare and travel 635 in the rain. Luckily the traffic wasn't bad and I made it in plenty of time.

The workshop was good, but in typical Megan fashion I got the gist about 30 minutes in and was ready to go apply my new found knowledge. Instead all I had time to do was get back to WP to do my last home bound session with one of my students. I got Hadley home and quickly whipped up a grilled fish filet- Gortons, don't be impressed! That she gobbled right up. Then it was bath and bed for Hadley and time for me to watch the host of shows on my DVR including: Dance Moms, Tabatha's Salon Takeover, and Tori and Dean...good times!


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The amazing Hadley!

After yesterday’s Debbie Downer post, I want to focus today on how awesome Hadley is. I am not sure when it happened, but she is such a toddler now. There is very little baby about her. Starting on Monday, she is officially DONE with formula; we have transitioned to all whole milk and my wallet it certainly happy about that! We have also cut out bottles almost entirely, we still do a bottle as part of her bedtime routine, because I like the time of us rocking while she drinks herself off to sleep. At the request of the doctor she does not get anything but water if she wakes in the night and this has helped a lot. She still wakes once to twice a night, but usually takes a sip of water and falls back asleep. There was a week in there that she wasn’t sleeping well, and that coincided with the whole fever/teething incident, but the last two nights I have actually gotten a really good night’s sleep (I hope I haven’t jinxed that!).

Since her birthday and Christmas are only 5 days apart, she has recently acquired a lot of toys- I mean her new toy box is overflowing, so we spend every afternoon with a few of them. She goes to her room every day, opens the toy box and picks a few for us to play with, she has her favorites, but she is pretty good about trying everything out, I am sometimes surprised at what she pulls out of there! I was really set on getting her the Little People farm for Christmas, and I am glad I did. She can say “moo” and “baa” and sort of “oink” and sometimes knows that is what a cow, sheep, and pig say. She knows that a dog says “woof” every single time. It’s funny if she hears a dog bark even, she will try to do bark (funny or odd…not sure). She is an eating champion. She is not picky at all. She literally will eat anything you put in from of her and will eat A LOT. Last night she had a whole piece of pork loin, a whole container of Yo Toddler yogurt, a whole fruit cup of pears, and a pretty large helping of green beans. If nothing else, this is something I hope continues. I feel like I am pretty open minded and will eat almost anything and I hope that she is the same way.

She is walking and running with ease these days. She is so loving. This morning at daycare I put her down in her classroom and she walked up to both of her teachers and gave them a hug. They told me that whenever a baby cries in the classroom, she will go up to them and give them a hug and a kiss…how sweet! She really is the most compassionate and loving baby I ever could have asked for! Her one top tooth is pretty much completely grown in and every time she smiles or laughs it catches me off guard, it makes her look older- what happened to the gummy smile? I do however wish the tooth next door would decide to come in finally, because has made life a little tough!

I really love this phase. It is so amazing to me how much personality she already has. She is funny and loves to make me laugh. It is astonishing how much she grows and changes!

Seriously....

Today was a nightmare! I woke up this morning with the most disgusting fever blisters on my lower lip. Which is gross enough on its own, but I also had a dentist appointment scheduled for this morning and they made me reschedule out of fear that they would spread the fever blisters to the inside of my mouth, or worse all over my face. So that was a wasted trip!

Then start the texts from the dreaded ex-husband. It kills me how hard some people try to be someone they aren't to "impress" the opposite sex. It literally makes me feel like I am living in the Twilight Zone. He believes that just because he speaks something it is true- it is so maddening. Every time I think he has actually finally stopped pretending to care, here he comes yelling demands and dragging me into crazy town! I've already said more than I should-but really I just am fed up and something will be done- I am not traveling down this awful road again! I thought this crap was behind me; I just wish that being a parent wasn't an optional title; I wish that he knew how amazing Hadley is and want to soak up her awesomeness...

I am just hoping I am able to resolve all of this and what was best for Hadley...which at the end of the day is my number one job!

On a happier note- Hadley had a great day she is so much fun to play with lately...she is not a baby anymore!

Wonderful weekend

This weekend was so much fun! While Hadley was at her Nana's, I spent the weekend in Richardson for a full on North Junior High fabulous teacher reunion! It was two days of eating, gossiping, ice cream, sleep overs, more gossip, and just fun. It was wonderful to have everyone together: Lindsey, Jill, Farrah, Rebecca, Krista, and myself. Rebecca and Jason drove in from San Antonio; she is so adorably pregnant! I stayed with Farrah and that really was a blast, she was so gracious and the best host!

Sunday morning I drove to church for the start of a five week class. The course is targeted at new Christians or those interested in spiritual growth. Since we are upon a new year, I thought this would be a great way to start the year- a sort of refresher. It was really interesting and was comprised of a good group- there were several great questions asked, and the teaching pastor,Todd, didn't shy away from any of them. As I was working parent pager I got a text that Kim needed to go be with her uncle so I had to step away and go get Hadley.

The rest of the day Hadley and I played with her new blocks from Rebecca ( Lindsey also bought Hadley the most adorable tutu dress), and navigated through the fuss and whines that teething has plagued Hadley with. We split eggplant parmesan for dinner and went to bed fairly early- it had been a weekend full of fun and we were tired!