Day 339

One thing I didn’t realize that would be true of parenting is the amount of pressure you feel to make sure your child is meeting age appropriate milestones at age appropriate times. Perhaps this isn’t nearly as stressful for some, but for me- a type-A person to a tee, this is what keeps my braining reeling at the late hours of the night. I think that a lot of this pressure is exacerbated by my constant research. I am a part of several message boards, e-mail lists, and I just generally look into all things that Hadley “should be doing” all the time. There are ages associated with every milestone and it makes you feel less than adequate when your child isn’t there. For instance, Hadley only has two teeth, both of which she got at almost 10 months old (this is relatively late), she STILL isn’t sleeping though the night, she is just now really getting into table food, she isn’t drinking exclusively out of sippy, she drinks more formula than most babies I read about, but she isn’t overweight…see none of those things in the grand scheme of life are important. I know that ONE DAY she will sleep, I know I personally hardly ever sleep through the night and I am almost 28 years old…I know she won’t be 13 years old drinking out of a bottle, so why do I feel such an incredible amount of pressure??

I think it all boils down to that I want Hadley to excel, every parent wants a child that is well adjusted, somewhat intelligent, and generally likeable- I mean I know that is what I want. Right now, as we are approaching her first birthday, it is like this drive to transform her from a baby to a “toddler” is overwhelming me. I know this sounds stupid to some, but really I just want to make sure I am doing everything I can to make sure she is where she is “supposed to be” so that she can have any and every opportunity she wants. So in the meantime, I will advocate for her, and encourage her to try new things, and ensure that everyone who is a part of her life does the same. This morning at daycare I had a talk her daycare teachers to make sure everyone was on the same page. She is expressly eating table food now, which means she can eat breakfast and lunch there, which means the days of making two meals and a snack to send with her are over. We are also going to switch to sippy cups only, I am hoping if they do that while she is there, it will be something she will also do at home, because I am having a hard time with this one. We are also slowly moving from formula to milk and they will be doing that there as well.

It is crazy; it is like all of a sudden she is not a baby anymore. On one hand it is kind of sad that she is growing up, I mean I am not a huge fan of babies, but there are so many sweet moments that a mom and baby share, but on the other hand I am SO INCREDIBLY excited to see what kind of toddler/little person she will be. Being a mom is a lot of hard work, in ways that I can’t even really explain, but it is also the most rewarding thing I have ever done!

On a completely unrelated note, Hadley wore a sparkly top and pink sparkly pants to school; I am so jealous that it is NOT acceptable for me to wear such awesomely flashy clothing!!