Perks of being a single mom...

Yesterday during my lunch I was reading through a few blogs and I stumbled upon an entry from Ms. Single Mama, a blog obviously written by a single mom, from several years back. Basically it read something along the lines of that lots of things were easier as a single mom because there wasn’t an additional child/husband to take care of. I had never really thought of it that way, but in my situation (I am not saying in EVERY marriage), that would have been exactly what I was doing. There are lots of perks to being a single mom it turns out. I really don’t have to consult with anyone about major decisions, I can dictate a schedule that works for both of us and make plans for us without having to consult a third person. I can cook what I want for dinner and not have to cater to a picky palate.

Later that night, at my moms’ bible study, we had a panel of moms that came in to discuss the topic of taking care of ourselves so that we can better take care of our families. I can honestly say this is one thing I think I have down. Clearly this was a point someone wanted to make me aware of. They asked me how I was able to find time for me, and I responded that I supposed that was the silver lining of being divorced, I knew months in advance when I would not have Hadley and I usually am really good about planning long in advance things to do to make sure I get me time. I seem to have the moms in my bible study fooled into thinking I am a good mom- I am not sure how I did that, but after the study our leader came up and just wanted to tell me what a great job I am doing. I actually feel like I get that a lot, I of course love to hear it, but sometimes think people are quick to say it just because I am doing it alone and they feel obligated to say it. I am not someone that really needs that kind of affirmation from people and it usually makes me uncomfortable. The most important person that can ever say that to me is Hadley, and I do hope that when she is a grown woman she can look at me and say I did a good job. If I can be a fraction of what my mom was, then I will be happy. If Hadley and I are able to have a friendship as adults ( I don’t want her to think of me as a friend until she is like 18, I am not going to be that mom), then I know I will have done SOMETHING right.

When we got home from church last night we both fell right asleep and stayed asleep the alarm went off, it was a good night’s sleep. I actually had to wake Hadley up this morning! I always look forward to Thursday evenings, because Wednesday nights always seem so rushed, so I like to be extra certain to really make time to be present with Hadley the following night. That was something else we talked about last night- being present. I am definitely guilty of that. I am always getting ready for the next thing- making dinner, getting her bathed, getting everything ready for the next day, etc. However, when I am able to push all that out of mind and actually play with Hadley, we have the best time- she really is at a fun age now, I need to soak it all in before the terrible 2’s or 3’s get here!