A bit of a soapbox....

Yesterday I was having a pretty good day. We got a new student this week that I’ve been meeting with quite a bit- he has been through a lot and I was under the impression that he might benefit from having someone build a relationship with him. He is struggling with identity and fitting in and we were having a pretty good conversation about that and finding people with similar interest and so forth. He then said to me, like at your church I am sure you feel like you are in a place where everyone is like you. This really made me chuckle. I had to say actually no, I am in a minority at my church. I am a young DIVORCED mother with a young child and I go to a BAPTIST church. I told him I was having a hard time finding a Sunday school class to fit me. The singles 20 and 30s group all have never been married and I feel like I am definitely the odd one out with a baby. The 30s and 40s class, which has some single parents in it, feels too old- they have children that are close to my age or in high school. He was SHOCKED. He quickly apologized and said he made assumptions. It led to a pretty great conversation. I just had to smile, I love that every once in a while, my own personal life experiences and sharing those with students, can really help someone out.



Shortly after that, I got some troubling news regarding some upcoming events…I can’t go into detail now, but can ask for prayers that in the near future decisions are made that are in the best interest of Hadley. I also spent a significant amount of time yesterday reading up on that Josh Powell situation. It really makes me think that it is crazy how much ONE DECISION can change your entire life. I think back to 2008 when Josh and I were engaged we went to Prestonwood for a 8 week course for engaged couples. I was wanting to start out on the right foot. I remember so vividly one week they separated us the women were in one room and the men in another. We were with a women who actually had been married and divorced and then remarried. We went over several scriptures about marriage, and there was one that said something along the lines that if we chose the incorrect spouse, that we would not have a, for lack of a better word, happy, life. A woman stood up and admitted that she on her wedding day decided not get married, because she knew in her heart it wasn’t the right man. She said that God was putting it on her heart to say that for the benefit of one woman in the room. I became very uncomfortable because somewhere in my being, I knew she was talking to me, but I did nothing. I went on and got married and resolved to do whatever it took to make it work. Everything that could go wrong did, there were test and trials even in the moments leading up to I do, and certainly in the days, even hours after. That one choice, which it was my free will, to marry that man and then have a child with him, has without a doubt impacted my life in so many ways, obviously getting Hadley is the best part of the deal, but there are lots of times it feels as though I am continually punished for that choice. I think of Susan Powell, which that story just sits on my heart in a way I can’t explain or understand, and how had she not married Josh Powell, she might be alive today…This of course leads me to inner conflict with perhaps that was all a part of God’s plan, but I also know that God gives us free will and we don’t always make the right decision. It is just heavy on my mind today, how every decision we make can have change our lives. When you think about it that way, it becomes really important not to take important decisions lightly. Listen to your gut, listen to reservations; divine intervention can happen, we just have to trust it…

Sorry that was soapboxey and rambly…Hadley is doing great. She is OBSESSED with books and the same 2 books it seems, we read them OVER AND OVER! I can’t complain though I am hoping this is a life long love for reading!