Day 171

This morning we had to take Hadley to her Nana's so her dad could come get her for his night, but before we did Hadley had a lot of fun playing with her stackable rings. I think everyone had these as a kid! Hadley of course thinks they, like EVERYTHING else, belong in her mouth.

After dropping Hadley off, my mom and I had a fun day together. We stopped by Ham's Orchard and got some peaches, okra, peas, chicken salad, and salsa, all of which were YUMMY! Then we went to see Bad Teacher, which was pretty funny ( there were a few awkward moments), but for the most part it was good. We spent the evening relaxing by the pool, so all in all a good Saturday!

Day 170

Today, my mom, Hadley and I are headed to College Station for the day, before headed home to Terrell so that Hadley could see her dad on Saturday. Hadley was a little fussy on the trip so we didn't really get any good pictures, but I wanted to show everyone one of Hadley's favorite pastimes at her Gigi's...she loves swinging in her new swing (as if there was any doubt she would). I am so happy she is finally big enough. It's crazy even if she is having a screaming fit, you take her outside she stops right away! This swing also seemed to lull her to sleep which was great on those days she refused to nap!

Day 169

Hadley and I went to visit her Bop (my dad) for the second time today. A lot of exciting things are happening for him, he has bought a condo and is in the process of making it his own, so while we are in town I like to check the progress! It's a cute place and I am very excited for him! Hadley seems to really love her Bop and not that she is not so little he is a lot more comfortable holding her (sorry for calling my dad out like that), but he does GREAT with her, I was impressed. In other news, this evening I made Hadley two tutus, a 4th of July one and a Cowboys/Wills Point Tigers one. I saw some at a craft show that used a headband like this, the claimed it was anti-itch, so I was excited to try it, especially since her first one (made by Gigi) made her skin a little irritated, so hopefully this eases that. It was super easy to do and I see many tutus for my cute little model!

Day 168

**Disclaimer, the following post deals with the topic of my marriage and divorce, and it is a little more raw then the typical Hadley's Happenings, if you feel you might have an issue with that topic, please feel free not to read this post.**

This is written for Hadley:

For the past few months I have contemplated this post (which was supposed to be posted yesterday, June 21). Today, would have been my 3 year anniversary. Three years, wow, that is no time at all. It makes me really sad, partially for my heart, partially for my pride, but mostly for you, my daughter. I grew up with divorced parents, parents I have basically zero memory of ever living with in the same house. Thus, it was always my conviction that I would do whatever possible to provide a different kind of home for my family. I want you to know, that you were/are by no means a mistake or a child that wasn't wanted. You were something I personally had been praying about for a while, someone I thought was part of a plan. I am not writing this to go into details about my marriage, those that need to know those do know(and some just think they do). However, at some point the plan began to fall apart. I will make it my life's work to make sure there is never a moment that you think any of that had to do with you. Perhaps it was my selfish desires to be a mother that allowed me to consider starting a family on a foundation that was not so sturdy, but that was MY choice. I wanted you so badly, and I suppose somewhere in the back of my mind it lingered that I would want you no matter what happened between your father and I. As it is today, your father and I do not have a civil relationship, there is a lot of pain and anger on my part, but I am working really hard on that, for YOUR sake. I know I don't remember my parents together, but I do remember they seemed to get along for the most part, and I want that for you. Perhaps one day you will come to me and think I failed you, and on some levels I will agree with you. However, I know that our life as it is today is for the best. I guarantee I am under A LOT less stress. You will not be living in a house with arguing and lack of trust.

Instead I strive to provide an environment in which you can feel the amount of love I have for you, and believe me little girl, there is A LOT of love. So while it is true that your family situation is not "normal" or ideal, it is what is best for you and me, and that at the end of the day that is all that matters, and know that there are lots of people that love and adore you, and for that I am grateful.

Day 167

I had long planned a post for today, June 21st, as it was supposed to be my third wedding anniversary; however, that post will have to wait until tomorrow. June 21st, now has a total different meaning to me. I got a call early in the morning from the vet saying Jake most likely had a tumor and he needed surgery right away -nervously I told the doctor to keep me posted. A few hours later I got a call back stating he had cancer, cancer that covered his stomach, his liver, and his intestines. It was serious and of course terminal. The doctor was really shocked he was still alive. With, an extremely heavy heart, I agreed with the doctor that it would be best to put him to sleep.

If you never had the pleasure of meeting Jake, you might not understand what an amazing dog he was. He was smart, compassionate, loving, and really the best dog one could ever hope for. He was there for me when I was going through my divorce, when I was alone on bed rest he would lay beside me and keep me company. He always knew when I was sad and always took it upon himself to just somehow be there for me (that sounds weird, but dog people I know you know what I am talking about). I only had Jake for 5 years. I never thought Hadley would grow up without him, he was her puppy to. The past few months Jake was staying with my mom, because being in a second floor apartment with a lab and a baby just didn't seem to mix well. I was planning on bring Jake home soon, it was time. I never thought that loosing Jake would be a part of my week or even my year, but clearly he suffering, even if it was silently. I feel like he waited for me to come home, for me to have those last moments with him. I am glad Hadley had him for the first few months, he really did love her, and always looked after her. He was a part of the family, and will be missed for years to come. I don't know what the future holds, but today I am certain I will never another dog as wonderful as Jake.

Day 166

I had to get up early this morning to take Jake to the vet. Luckily, my dad is good friends with a vet close by, so we got Jake in right away. He started acting lethargic and not like himself earlier in the week, and by Sunday morning his stomach was really swollen. I was very worried (and thought maybe he had gotten ahold of one of Hadley's diapers). I left him at the vet to do some tests and to run an IV to try to get the swelling down. The doctor said he couldn't tell much from the x-rays as there was a lot of fluid- he suspected it was just the sign of an infection. I left Jake knowing he was in capable hands, hoping for the best. Once I got home Hadley, my mom, and I enjoyed a day of relaxing. We did a whole lot of nothing and it was nice. Hadley had sweet potatoes again, and seemed to love them just as much as the first time, so I am pleased about that!

Day 165

Today was Hadley's first Fathers' Day. I came home from Galveston this afternoon and on my way got a speeding ticket- man I hate that ( I never get off with a warning- EVER). Anyway, once I got home we headed over to Coy's and Robin's for some burgers and hotdogs and a little bit of swimming. It was VERY to nice to have that part of the family all together again- it had been far too long, and I think everyone is looking forward to doing it again!