Weekend wrap-up

This weekend could not come soon enough! It was a long week and I was ready to relax and catch up on my DVR, after the holidays doing as little as possible was all I wanted.

Friday night I went over to coworker's house and hung out around a fire, it was fun, who doesn't love catching up with friends around a fire?!? Saturday morning I got up did some laundry, attempted to work out, watched some TV, and cleaned up a bit. Around noon I headed to Athens to have lunch with my former coworker and friend, Mary Jean. I hadn't seen her in a while, so I knew we had a lot to catch up on! Out of everybody in the entire world, she is probably the one person that completely and totally understands all I have been through, it really is uncanny how similar our lives have been!! After lunch we headed out to her house. Her husband had a huge hand in building their house, and while I've seen beautiful pictures I had never seen it in person, and just as I expected it was gorgeous!

That night I got home watched Grey's Anatomy and fell asleep watching tv...oops! Sunday morning I got up, did another load of laundry took out the trash and headed to church. I was really excited to be back at Lakepointe, it had been almost a month since I had been there! It was a great service and we were super busy at Parent Pager- nearly 1000 kids checked into Sunday School ( that's only birth- 5th grade). When I got home I took advantage of my last baby free hours and was SUPER productive. I cooked chicken and prepared it for the meals for the week, uploaded pictures from the past month, put away the laundry, packed bags for Hadley and I next weekend, when we will travel to Humble, and simply relaxed.

Overall it was a great weekend, it went by pretty quickly, but I was ready to get my baby girl back, I sure did miss her!

I officially have a good heart!

I went to the cardiologist yesterday. On top of my blood pressure concerns, I've been having some chest pains lately. Since the whole blood pressure issue has been exactly that, an issue, for a whole year I worry. I am so afraid that something is wrong, partial for my own sake, but mostly because I am scared about what if something happened to me while Hadley and I were here alone. Saying I'm worried about that is an understatement- anytime I feel off, or have a head ache, or get a slightly high blood pressure reading I panic; I assume the worst. Which doesn't help the Bp at all, it's a vicious cycle. When I started feeling the chest pains, I was convinced it was time to do something, just in case. So I made the earliest appointment I could get.

I had an EKG, a sonogram, and a stress test all right there in the office. The stress test worried me, running is just something I do not do, but I managed to survive it, while swapping life stories with the tech, amazing the people you meet!

Anyway after my tests, I saw the doctor who said everything looked normal, there was NOTHING wrong with my heart. Now I am sure once insurance clears, I will be paying a pretty penny for those tests, BUT I would pay a million dollars for the sense of relief it gave me. Literally I can stop my overacting imagination from playing out hundreds of awful scenarios. Here's hoping my health stays on the up and up- I have a very energetic one year old to chase after!

Hadley by the way, has been having a blast at school. It's a whole new world for her to be walking around her classroom! Everyday we come home and play with her new toys, we still haven't gotten to play with everything yet, guess someone is a tad bit spoiled!

No superman...

Today I was having a conversation with the army recruiter that comes to our school, he stops by our office about once a week, so we have a pretty good working relationship. Today I said something to the other counselor that made him realize I wasn't married, I guess he had just assumed, as most people do when you have a one year old, that I was. He has two kids himself, and was just shocked that I had been raising Hadley alone. That had to be really hard he said. Without any thought, I responded, not really.

On my drive home I really started thinking about this conversation and similar ones I've had in the past. People seem to want to give me more credit than I deserve. While my situation is by no means ideal, I am really simply a mom, just like others. All moms quickly learn that when it comes to parenting, you just do what you have to do; that's all it is. I've never known what is like to have a husband at home with me with a newborn, so really I never knew any different. Being a mom in any situation is hard, it's just the nature of the job.

So what it boils down to is this; yes, I have had to "go through a lot" this year, I had to deal with drama on top of juggling the day to day. I simply survived several months at a time. Looking back on it, isn't a pretty picture- I've yelled and screamed, said hurtful things out of anger, I wasn't always the bigger person, I stressed and cried over things that in long run were trivial, there were more times than I care to admit that I was downright embarrassed with how I reacted to and handled the worst moments of doing it alone ( but mostly in interactions with people who did not deserve a moment of my thoughts, much less the chance to kick me when I was down). It's a struggle for me to have self control of what I say, especially if I am hurt or angered, and this past year has really shown me that. That has been a hard lesson learned!

Why am I saying all this? Because I think outsiders and even my friends are quick to say things like, " I don't know how you do it." or "Wow, that has to be hard!" Really though I don't deserve that, I'm just a mom with a responsibility to raise my daughter the best I can, just like ANY mom would do. I don't know how any of us do it, really- but we do what we have to do!

Watching Parenthood and Teen Mom 2 tonight on my DVR really just completely echoed what I just said, it's like this is something I am really convicted to share!

We love bows, it is just who we are!

Because I am probably the biggest nerd on the planet, Hadley and I wore similar shirts today. I am not sure what it says about me that I have a shirt similar to a one year old’s, but I prefer to think it means that Hadley has extremely sophisticated outfits! Anyway she got a shirt with a huge pink bow on the front for her birthday and I just so happened to score myself a green shirt with a black sequined bow on the front- so naturally we both wore them today. If you know me at all you shouldn’t be shocked to hear that I love bows; um have you seen my adorable bow head?!?!? The pictures aren’t so hot because unlike every other white girl I know- I suck at taking pictures of myself…I especially love the not so flattering double chin issue I appear to have going on while taking said pictures...

Hadley and I still are not adjusting to this whole get up early thing. While I shower our typical routine is for her to go in her pack and play and watch Yo Gabba, Gabba, but this morning she was sound asleep as I put her in the pack and play. However, because I know my daughter, I went on and put on Yo Gabba, Gabba, because I knew if I didn’t the moment I got in the shower she would start screaming! Of course as soon as she heard DJ Lance Rock say Yo Gabba, Gabba, she was up. I was happy to see that last night she was out by 6:30 without fighting sleep, and then that she happily entertained herself this morning while I got ready.

This past week has been super busy…it is taking a little bit to adjust to my new responsibilities, but today I actually had stretches of time when I didn’t have a huge pile of things to do or a line of people outside my door. I know that the beginning of next school year I will feel this way again, as that is when most new students come to register, but every day is a new day and somehow I make it through it!

Back to School

Today is Hadley's first day back to school. That crazy girl has gotten used to sleeping well past 7, so getting up at 6:30 this morning was something new. We both need to get back on schedule!

I was anticipating a not so happy Hadley when I dropped her off this morning, but the moment she saw Ms. Claire she reached out for her it was sweet. Things like that make me so thankful for her daycare! I got to work by 7 this morning and worked all day! The first week is busy busy! I'm ready for us both to settle back into our routines! I was a teacher, I love routines!!

Back To The Grind

I knew this day would come sooner or later- I had to go back to work today. It was a little bit tough getting up at 6 this morning, so I decided to snooze until 6:30. Hadley’s day care was closed to observe the New Year, so my mom and James helped me out, by offering to stay and watch her. I had a busy day at work and got a little nervous of just how much I might have put on my plate; it may be hectic for a while, but I will eventually find a rhythm.

While I was at work, my mom, Papa James and Hadley had a fun day of playing and napping (Hadley did anyway). James graciously made stew for dinner, which was perfect for this cold weather.

We had bought some juice boxes for Hadley’s birthday get together and had several left over, so just for curiosity sake, I decided to see if she could drink out of it, and she went to town. This was not the best idea because now she thinks water in a sippy cup is not that great…

2011: A Year in Review

In light of the New Year, I think it is only appropriate to do a look back at 2011, the highs and lows of each month. As I posted on my Facebook, on the surface this might have appeared to be a rough year, I went through a number of “trials and tribulations,” (for lack of a better word), but really in truly I feel like this has been one my favorite years ever! I have been blessed with a beautiful daughter that has given my life a whole new purpose, I truly saw how AMAZING my family and friends are. I mean honestly, in the lows I had so many wonderful people around me to pick me up and dust me off. I truly do have the best family and friends I could ever ask for- if I didn’t know that before I definitely learned that this year. So without further ado, here is our 2011 wrap up!



January: Started off the new year with Hadley being released from the NICU to my room, which was great; however, the next day we went back to labor and delivery so I could be put on a magnesium drip for 24 hours in an attempt to lower my blood pressure, this was hands down one of the worst experiences of my life. On January 5th, we left the hospital and brought Hadley home for the first time, only to turn around and head to the ER about 18 hours later. My blood pressure peaked at about 196/110- which really scared everyone, most of all me. About 36 hours later I was finally released again, and my mom, my dad (who had to turn around to come back up to Dallas from Crosby to help take care of my house and Jake while mom, Hadley and I were at the hospital) and I watched the Aggies lose in the Cotton Bowl. Hadley came down with RSV; most likely she contracted it from our late night trip to the ER. She had to do breathing treatments for a weeks- poor baby. I didn’t sleep a lot this month. Hadley had her days and nights mixed up and I never could seem to make myself sleep when she did. My mom graciously offered to stay with me for two weeks, and then Hadley and I went to Humble for the rest of the month…with all that blood pressure stuff the thought of being along with a newborn was frightening. In good news I started seeing an internist and finally found a combination of meds that seemed help regulate my blood pressure, this meant nursing wasn’t going to happen.



February: At the start of this month it was finally time to do this whole mom thing alone. Hadley and I had one week together before it was back to work. It was a really cold month, we got several inches of snow. Hadley stayed with her Nana when I went back to work, because she hadn’t had her 2 month shots, thus I wouldn’t feel right leaving her at day care, so this was a huge help; however, this meant the trip to drop her off and get to work was about an hour and a half every day. Hadley had lots of gas and spit up issues. We started gentlease formula and it seemed to help some. Hadley wore several cute Valentine’s Day outfits this month. I filed for divorce on Valentine’s Day (not ironic, that was intentional), Hadley started going to the nursery at church and I started going to Divorce Care. Hadley and I made a visit to Jill’s house so all my North ladies could meet her, they had a mini shower of sorts for me, it was SO nice and exactly what I needed that month!



March: Hadley was practically living in her swing, she even slept in that thing! Hadley and I headed home to Humble for Spring Break. It was great to have extra help, I even got to squeeze in a girls’ night with Farrah, Jill, and Rebecca to see Miranda Lambert at the Houston Rodeo. Once spring break was over, Hadley started day care. It wasn’t as hard for me as I thought it would be and everyone took an instant liking, which is really an understatement, to Hadley! Having her right by my work cut our time in the car down to a round trip of about 30 minutes, this gave us lots more play time and Hadley’s least favorite thing to do-tummy time. I had Hadley dedicated at church- she slept right through it!

April: Camille and Julia came and stayed with us and we had a girls’ weekend including a trip to First Monday and pedicures. We had a bad incident with the peditrcian and thus I decided it was time to look for a new one. We tried out rice cereal; Hadley was not impressed, nor were her intestines! My blood pressure was pretty much under control. We spent several hours in the bath tub with no electricity while tornado sirens went off. We made a trip to the Bluebird festival while parents were in town. We celebrated Hadley’s first Easter, she had a fit during church and I missed most of the message, but it was great to have my mom in town to help us celebrate. My divorce was finalized on the 21st, which is Aggie Muster, so Camille and I went to that at Gilley’s, while my mom watched Hadley

May: We went to the new pedi and LOVED it there; we tried Similac formula, since every kind of Enfamil seems to make her spit up, and it made a HUGE difference. Hadley started staying the entire weekend every other weekend with her Nana- this was a big adjustment for me! We learned Hadley had tortocolis and we went to physical therapy. We celebrated my first mother’s day in Humble with my mom and went to lunch with family, we also went by the cemetery to “visit” my Aunt Myrle- the closest thing I had to a grandma. I had scholarship night at my school, Hadley was REALLY fussy that night and had a meltdown, I present awards to students holding a 5 month old! Hadley had her first ear infection, the first of SEVERAL!

June: Hadley and I had a awful car trip from Dallas to Humble, it took about 6 hours- she was not happy. I helped host Tara’s baby shower, Hadley and I pretty much stayed with my mom the entire summer, only to take her to her nana’s/to see her dad, every other weekend. Hadley started on solids, so I started making baby food. My mom kept Hadley while Camille, Julia, and I had a girls’ weekend in Galveston. We spent Fathers’ Day with at my step brother Coy’s house. The worst moment of the year was on June 21st, Jake had to be put to sleep due to cancer consuming his whole body- a COMPLETE shock (this date would have been my 3rd wedding anniversary, so not a good day at all!) I started making tutu’s for Hadley. She sat up on her own. Her future boyfriend, baby Landon was born on the 30th, making them exactly 6 months apart

July: My dad moved into a new condo and Hadley and I went over several times to help out or really just to watch. Hadley had several 4th of July outfits and we spent the 4th helping my dad pick out drapes for his living and dining room. Hadley started using her swing in my mom’s backyard and loved it. She also enjoyed having breakfast in her mesh feeder out there every morning, while we listened to Kidd Kraddick. We bought peaches from a local orchard close to my house and it became clear Hadley loved peaches! Hadley went swimming several times and loved it, she loves being in the water. My mom and I took Hadley to the zoo, it was really hot, but Hadley had a good time! Hadley got an exersaucer and loved it, I loved having something to entertain her while I tried to clean or do laundry!

August: I went back to work and Hadley returned to day care. Hadley got bitten at school. Hadley discovered lentils and loved them. Hadley’s hair grew almost overnight. I got lots of girl time this month with my North ladies, Camille and Julia and even-Tara that is what keeps me sane! I had lots of long days at work. Hadley started standing on her own, especially at her Leapfrog musical table. Hadley and I went to a football game at my school. Hadley said Mama, clear as day while looking right at me!

September: We traveled to Humble for my friend Emily’s wedding shower. I did a 30 day blog challenge. Hadley started crawling. Hadley’s personality really budded this month. It became clear just how stubborn she was. She learned the work uh-oh. Hadley had another ear infection.

October: We started going to a different location of her pedi’s office and loved it much more, it’s smaller and closer to my house. Hadley started on Zyrtec for allergies, since she is so snotty and such all the time. I got a haircut. We wished Papa James a happy birthday. Hadley got excited when I picked her up from school and started greeting me with “mama.” I learned lots of things I want to start doing to be intentional with Hadley and her spiritual growth. Hadley had her first natural light photo session, Courtney Howard took AMAZING pictures! We had a play date with Jill and Xavier and Lindsey and Landon. Hadley had a little Halloween party at school; she made everyone laugh while expressing her frustration in her class group shot. She dressed up as a bumble bee and we went trick or treating with Xavier and Avery in Jill’s parents’ neighborhood.

November: Made a trip to Humble. Hadley started sleeping for 5 hour stretches, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. We celebrated my mom's birthday. Hadley had a Thanksgiving feast at school. I made Thanksgiving dinner for my parents at my house; Hadley sat on Santa’s lap for the first time. We had Christmas card and 1st birthday pictures made. I decorated for Christmas. Hadley gets an ear infection and pink eye…we start considering tubes (idea to be discussed at 1 year appointment). Hadley decides she is ready to walk, pretty much over night. By the end of the month she is full on walking!

December: I started homebound teaching for extra cash. I turned 28. My mom and I took Hadley to a Christmas parade. Hadley saw Santa again. Hadley had another ear infection. I said goodbye to my friend and coworker, Shawn. We got to see lots of family and friends over the Christmas break. Santa came and left Hadley lots of toys, and days later she was showered with gifts again on her first birthday.

So there you have it our year in review, 2011 was a good year to us. I am so excited to see what 2012 brings us. Hadley grows and changes so much every day, I can only imagine what milestones are to come. Thanks to all the special people in our lives that made our 2011 so fabulous! Here are some photos from NYE and Hadley eating her cabbage, black eyed peas, cornbread, and pork chops!