The parent I never was...

This morning as I was driving to work, I glanced in the rearview mirror at Hadley who was happily watching an Olivia DVD, and it struck me in so many ways I am SO DIFFERENT as a mom than I ever thought I would be.
As a teacher, I had the unique opportunity to work with a wide variety of kids and as a counselor I get to see how all kinds of situations affect kids; this gave me a pretty good idea of the parent I thought I was going to be and about how my child would behave.
What I couldn’t have known is how much parenting changed me. How much having this little person that I was 100% responsible for would be so different in practice. I thought I would never have a child that would make a public display/tantrum, my child would not watch TV, and she would do as she was told, because she respected rules and boundaries. I would be patient and not ever get frustrated. She would be easy to potty train…the list goes on.
What I have learned is that a lot of times parenting, especially single parenting (another component I never fathomed would be in) is that more often than not, it is about finding what works for you and your child. My child watches TV in the car, because we drive about 20, soon to be 40 minutes, one way. She hates the car seat, but having a DVD going more often than not, encourages her to climb on in. She seemingly forgets that she is strapped in (I must note my child hates being restrained in anyway…) and the car ride is pleasant for everyone. Besides she watches educational shows, because of Kai Lan, Hadley prefers to say “push” in Chinese rather than English…so that’s kind of impressive, right?!?!
Hadley is probably the most hard headed individual I have ever met, yes even worse than me. Her strong willed attitude means that all the traditional approaches to parenting don’t always seem to be effective…I didn’t know how strong willed a two year old really could be.
What I am saying is this: this journey of parenting is a lot different than I expected it to be. I had expectations for myself as a mom, and more often than not I am not the mom I thought I would be. However, I love every minute of it. I have had to let go of how I think it supposed to be and embrace the day to do for what it is- doing the best I can to provide an environment in which my child is happy, well cared for, and above all else loved. I don’t think that Hadley questions how much she is loved; she is such a happy little girl and I guess at the end of the day that means maybe, just maybe, I am doing something right after all!